But, just to humor the idea, let's say, for example, some children need and ought to be eaten. Now, this isn't necessary my opinion nor one I totally agree with but merely I only wish to point out that such may not be entirely without merit.
True, it would be difficult for most to determine which children should be left to their own folly and which should be stomached by witches. However, speaking personally, and not in any way to suggest some sense of moral superiority, but, in such a scenario, I feel I could be a keen judge on which children best to fricassee. Not, of course, to suggest that fricasseeing is the preferable method of cooking children, my goodness, no. For that is a point, I leave to the discretion of witches, as I do not pretend, myself, to be anything of a chef and am hopelessly unfamiliar with the vast complexities of a witch's inner intestinal workings nor pallet.
But again to illustrate, once, while at a public pool, I observed a child from the reverse in the process of what could only have been urination. Not, in the pool mind you, but outside of it, along the fencing. Taking this in account, I would nominate any such child engaging in like acts of scrumscramdoopery to be hastily and hungrily gobbled headlong in hoards by witches.
Now, again, and I cannot stress this enough, I am not construing that such a child should be eaten (or, at least, I don't think I am, though it is kind of hazy at this point). I am only saying if some child must be eaten by witches then why not that child?
I will, however, admit a certain bias on the matter, as I do not wish for any child of mine to be eaten by witches. But, to be fair, no child of mine is a-piddling on public property— unless, of course, such becomes the case, at what point I will revisit my decision. (By the by, Sweet Pea, if you are reading this know that Daddy loves you but that boundaries are also important)!
But, to another point, which I feel to be both rational and sound, have witches never tried chicken? While there may be some deviations in flavor depending on how it is made, I would wager that any cooked chicken is vastly superior in both taste and texture to any child similarly prepared.
Now, as an exercise, I have already licked my forearm from the wrist to the elbow and derived no satisfaction in having done so. Naturally, you, good reader, are encouraged to do likewise and draw your own conclusions. Granted, I am no child, but I also cannot fathom that there should arise any extremes in differences to the base-level taste of a mammal irregardless of age. Surely, if there was anything to the eating of children then such an culinary exercise should have induced some pleasantness in sensation from my taste buds. Conversely, I found the sensation some what revolting. Though, admittedly, if one were to lick a living chicken it might induce a comparable negative response.
In closing, should any witch find themselves reading this then eat more chicken—or cat.
I cannot believe you actually read this,
Lenwood S. Sharpe, Director
Lumberwoods, Unnatural History Museum
Parts Unknown, The Woods, U.S.A.
Lenwood S. Sharpe, Director
Lumberwoods, Unnatural History Museum
Parts Unknown, The Woods, U.S.A.
