There was a heavy mail for Professor Phish Phaquer today, but most of the letter writers, instead offering to present rare specimens for the proposed public aquarium for the preservation of rarer piscatorialis, were narrow-minded business men, seeking to secure contracts for the aquarium supplies. One wanted to supply the opium for the opium pipe fish and another wanted to bid on an exclusive lease for use of the salvage sucker and there were a dozen circulars on fish food and phish phood. But from this trash we culled a sketch of another candidate for an aquarium tank.

Editor The Star.
Care Seattle Star.

    Sir: Being somewhat interested in things more or less aquatic, and having had on divers occasions (being a diver by profession, to say nothing of necessity) opportunity to study the baptismal piscatorialas, whatever that is, of the Puget sound waters, I am therefore in a position to verify the existence of the Cable Croppie, Speed Simp Sucker, Gusnington Slimeback and others of that like. But since I have heard no mention of the Hydra-Headed Amphibian Grampett, I will introduce this species of spurious marine growth to The Star-reading public with pen sketch as nearly correct as I am able to draw from sight as viewed through the windows of a diver’s helmet, together with concise description of same. Its characteristics, which will enable anyone interested to readily discern this particular species when once it is placed on review in the proposed Seattle aquarium.
    In general appearance, this fish much resembles the ordinary garden, or market variety, save that it has two heads, one on either end. Its scales, while imbricated to prevent the fish from leaking, are reversible and flop forward and back to suit the direction it happens to be going or coming. Whenever it becomes necessary to make a sudden stop, the scales are erected to stand at right angles to the body, thereby acting as a brake. As it really has no tail and but one long dorsal fin, the heads serve double purpose of rudder and cutwater alternately, or vice versa, and the long, thin supple body, by a series of systematic muscular-like contortions, enables it to navigate about and seek its food, which it captures by strategy.
    The Tadpolarius is, by nature a coward fish and preys only upon other fish and reptiles, which do not show fight, but which seek safety in flight, so when it sees the Hydra-Headed Amphibian Grampett backing off, it pursues in full chase, and just at the psychological moment the Hydra sets brakes, reverses its course, and with its cavernous mouth agap, double crosses its would-be assassin by swallowing him bodily.